


Endings and Beginnings

by Vivien



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Canon Divergence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, straight outta exegol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivien/pseuds/Vivien
Summary: Rey’s hand cradles Ben’s head before it can hit the stone floor. He’s ridiculously heavy, all dead weight, and Rey’s entire body cramps in horror before she sees the faint rise and fall of his chest. He’s not dead. He hasn’t left her. Yet. She cradles his face with both hands and sobs in relief.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange, Reylo Hidden Gems





	Endings and Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xochiquetzl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xochiquetzl/gifts).



> A little Ben Lives treat complete with soup and blankets just for you! Enjoy!

Rey’s hand cradles Ben’s head before it can hit the stone floor. He’s ridiculously heavy, all dead weight, and Rey’s entire body cramps in horror before she sees the faint rise and fall of his chest. He’s not dead. He hasn’t left her. Yet. She cradles his face with both hands and sobs in relief.

They need to get out of here. They both need medical attention. Rey is all right but _she was dead she was dead and everything was black and she died but Ben brought her back_ she still has open wounds and she’s trembling in the dank cold of the Sith temple.

She’s so tired, though. The thought of standing makes her want to cry.

_He crawled out of the abyss. For you. He saved you. You saved him and he saved you._

She has to rest. Her limbs are heavy and she’s shutting down like a droid that’s run out of juice. She pulls her wraps from her body and shakes them out. Her outfits have always had practical applications. She curls into Ben’s side, her hand over his chest, feeling for the breaths in and out, and she covers them with the gossamer material. It’s not much of a blanket, but it’s better than nothing.

Rey presses her head to his chest, and his heartbeat is in her ears as the blackness _but not like when I died because_ I died _and I came back…_ pulls her down into a healing sleep. She'll save him again. She just needs rest.

* * *

Ben wakes before she does. He comes to unsure of where he is or what has happened. He stares up at the rocky ceiling above his prone form and remembers. He starts, and that’s when he feels the warm presence curled against him. There’s an arm sprawled over his chest, the bloodied hand resting over his heart.

Rey.

She’s warm and she’s breathing and he brought her back. It’s not over. Or, well, it is, but it’s not.

And everything – and he realizes _everything_ – hurts despite the comfort of her presence. A sharp rock digs into his shoulder blade, his back is stiff and radiating pain from multiple wounds. His leg has gone beyond hurting and into mind-numbing excruciation. His head aches and he feels like he’s been stepped on by an AT-AT.

“Rey,” he croaks. His throat hurts, too. He shifts slightly to his side and winces from the pain of the effort. “Rey?”

Her eyes flutter open. “Ben?”

“Yeah.” He has no idea what to say. There are literally no words for a situation in which your enemy who you’ve always loved has saved your life and you’ve saved hers and… you’re going beyond an ending you never thought you’d get. “I… I think my leg is broken.”

It’s not the romantic declaration he dreamed of when lying awake in the wee hours of the morning trying to sleep and allowing himself the escape of fantasies of being with her for just a little while.

“Hm?” Her eyes are bleary, and she shakes her head slightly to defog her brain. “We have to get out of here,” she finally says. She hasn’t moved, though, except to snuggle in closer to him, her arm wrapping around his chest.

“Yes,” he agrees, shifting his back to get away from the blasted rock. He wriggles into her embrace and stills.

“Oh, you’re so hurt,” she breathes, her eyes closed as she senses everything he’s feeling through their bond. “We have to get you to a medic.”

“You’re exhausted. I’m not sure how we can.”

Rey stays still another moment, breathing him in. Underneath the salt tang of both the moon’s ocean where they fought and the blood they’ve both spilled is his scent, which she’s smelled in her dreams since their first meeting in the Takodona Forest.

“We will,” she says. She grits her teeth and slowly eases into a sitting position. She doesn’t draw away from him, though, and she slides an arm under his neck. “One time,” she begins and falters because she’s cold, oh so cold, and numb and frightened, “One time I fell and hurt my ankle. On Jakku. I was about twelve, I think. I missed my footing and it was a long way down. It’s a miracle I didn’t break my neck. I passed out from the pain, but then I woke up and somehow I drug myself out, crawling, to get home and rest. I don’t remember how. But we’re going to drag ourselves out of here.”

He looked up at her face, falling in love with her all over again and forever. “And then what?”

She cupped his cheek. “I don’t know. Let’s find out.”

* * *

Rey is fairly sure it was the beginning of a standard night cycle when she landed on Exegol. It’s the beginning of another one by the time they struggle out together. Ships tilt above them in orbits they’ll never escape, and they look like a child has tossed them aside, forgotten toys of death.

She’s numb. She feels nothing but dread determination. Ben’s face is pale and pinched. Even with the Force to help them, he’s overexerted himself, and she has to shield herself from the pain that radiates from him. They collapse together on the ground in between the X-Wing and the TIE Fighter.

“It’ll have to be the TIE,” she says. “Mine only has room for one.”

“You can sit on my lap,” he sighs, closing his eyes and resting his head on her shoulder as they shiver together.

“Another time,” she says, the ghost of a grin pulling at her lips despite everything.

“Can you fly it? I’m not sure I can stay conscious much longer.”

“Of course I can.”

They still don’t move. They pass out, huddled together, for another hour before they attempt the climb into the cockpit.

* * *

Once she flies them back into main hyper lanes, Ben finds coordinates to a smuggler’s moon that allows them landing clearance in the TIE without either of them needing to resort to Jedi mind tricks. The bacta spray in the onboard first aid kit stabilized them both for a while, but Ben’s skin has gone from white and pinched to a strange grey tinged color that worries Rey. She keeps him awake by telling him stories she’d overheard from traders at Niima Outpost. She begins making things up after a while.

The med droid at the space port ushers him into a dingy bacta tank after a brief examination. Ben holds her hand until he has to submerge himself under the liquid.

“I’ll be back, sweetheart,” she says, kissing his forehead. “I promise.”

She tries not to notice the despair in his eyes as their hands slip apart. She has to take care of herself to take care of him. What exactly they’re going to do once they’re both healed and whole, she doesn’t know, but she needs her friends to know she’s okay and she needs to mend, too. So she does.

She’s back in 36 hours. 

He’s still quite weak when she helps him into the room she’s booked indefinitely at the only halfway passable inn she could find.

“We can stay as long as we need to. All anyone knows is that I’m on a Jedi related mission, and I have credits. I’ll pay them back, of course, once we figure things out. But for now, we have a place to be. And time.”

They’re going to have to talk things out soon. Figure out their future. Force, it’s daunting to consider, so she doesn’t. She bundles him into bed, snuggling him under the extra blankets she requested from reception while his dark, sad eyes follow every move.

“Rey,” he begins, his voice soft and earnest.

She panics and pats his hand. Her voice is pitched a little higher than normal as she replies, “Food. We need food. I’ll be right back.”

She brings back soup, and when Ben stirs from the nap he fell into when he was alone in their room, she brings him a bowl and a spoon and makes sure he eats. Her soup is gone already. She was hungrier than she’d thought, and she practically inhaled it.

The silence between them, for the first time since the ruins of the Death Star, is awkward. He doesn’t try to initiate a serious conversation while she watches him eat. When he finishes, she takes the bowl away and brings him a bottle of water. She doesn’t meet his eyes, and when she sits down on the bed beside him, she yawns.

“Tired?”

She nods her head and doesn’t meet his eyes. “I slept a little back at the base, but I wanted to get back to you.”

“Thank you.” He takes her hand and squeezes it. After another long quiet moment, he continues. “We need to talk. But not right now, okay? There’s plenty of room for you on the bed if you need to sleep.”

Rey’s cheeks going pink and she keeps staring at their joined hands.

“But only if you want,” Ben adds quickly, and now it’s his turn to panic. “I’ll- You can- Tell me whatever you want, Rey. I’ll do anything you ask. Anything.”

She shakes her head and meets his eyes, smiling. “Shove over,” she finally says, joining him under the blankets. She sighs as her head settles on the pillow and she wraps her arm around his chest again, nestled against his side just like when she collapsed upon him on Exegol. This time, though, he’s able to scoop his arm under her side and tug her closer to him. He strokes her face, her hair, and she falls asleep while he watches every breath she takes like the cherished miracle it is.


End file.
